What an amazing story Hiria - you remember to use powerful words, paragraphs, dialogue, full stops and other punctuation (!!) and capital letters in the right place. 5 out of 5!
Next steps - in this story you have used the word "said" three times.
For your next story, try and think of some other ways he could of said it.
This will help show the feelings of your character.
Great story, so proud of you!
Hiria @ Tamaki Primary School: The forest: "wow what a scary dark blue night' said Jack strolling through the blue dark forest.Jack was singing by his mouth and being proud o...